deviant ART

=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen:

Bete auf Tageslicht  

  • Status: Official Beta Tester
  • Deviously Deviant
  • Male/United States
  • Offline for 17h 28m 8s
  • Deviant since Sep 28, 2004, 11:22 PM
  • Subscribed until Oct 3, 2008, 12:41 PM
  • 96 Deviations
  • 7 Scraps [browse]
  • 491 Deviation Comments
  • 171 Deviant Comments
  • 50 Forum Posts
  • 5,177 Pageviews

Death touch?

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 26, 2008, 1:18 AM
  • Mood: Sadness
  • Playing: Orange box


I must be an Atom Bomb, somekind of radioactive matieral, it seems that I am the destroyer of everything that is important around me. I pushed good friends away to where they hate me now. I ruined a beautiful relationship and I will never get a chance to redeem myself. I hold on to the wrong things for too long taking my real future away. No one else caused this hurt but myself
Why did I hold on to a false hope for a girl when I had one who gave me everything? Am I going to hold on to the one for so long that I will never be able to stay where I could be stable? If only there was a way to get back the stability I had, repair the trusts and relationships that I melted-down.

heh... I guess I just had my own twisted "slap-in-the-face" epiphany... I am the reason Nicole never wanted to hang out with me. I pushed her away. Now I am the one hurting because I wouldn't accept that when I should have and by holding on to this broken dream, hope, lie, I never put the time in to the one who really mattered.

It was my sad little fabrick of hope that I held that kept myself decieved from this truth. This hope I held I moved around too. And in doing so it led me to do things I shouldn't have. Now look at me. I am holding this hope towards the one that was there before, but I have turned it too late. I am reaping what I have sown.

Leigh I guess this is the letter I owed you. I am sorry for what I have done but I already know it won't win you back. I just wish that I could show you that I will grow up. that I can be trusted. that I can show that I will be better then the path that I have left behind me. I won't let it dictate my future. I wish I could have you at my side, not as a friend, but as what we once had. I shouldn't hold on to that hope for long as you have told me but only by having this pain can I grow as you want. Lets see if i bloom in to what you hope I can.


Lets hope I don't hurt my self further.

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 21
  • Current Residence: Tucson, az
  • Interests: music (goth, industrial), poetry
  • Favourite movie: The Crow or Vampire Hunter D
  • Favourite band or musician: Too many to select from
  • Favourite genre of music: goth, industrial
  • Favourite artist: H.R. Giger
  • Favourite poet or writer: Edgar Allen Poe
  • Favourite photographer: Emily Jones (personal friend)
  • Favourite style of art: Conceptual/abstract
  • Operating System: XP
  • MP3 player of choice: music streamed from my pc to my xbox 360, vlc
  • Wallpaper of choice: Varies
  • Favourite game: Halo
  • Favourite gaming platform: X-Box 360
  • Favourite cartoon character: D
  • Personal Quote: I'ld loan you my wings but I too seem to have fallen. It would seem we all have begun to spiral
  • Tools of the Trade: pen, paper, and a thesaurus for poetry; Apophysis and Ultra Fractal for digital art

Devious Comments

~JessicaSephiroth:iconJessicaSephiroth: Jun 24, 2008, 4:01:12 PM
Hello there!
Its been awhile.

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Exploding Fangirl Glomp - 9999 damage.
~OoooKATIoooO:iconOoooKATIoooO: May 13, 2008, 7:14:10 PM
East and Toole
check out [link] and check out us on myspace too!
you will be surprised what you was missing in your city=D!
we have new art show coming in something about 2-3 weeks..so would be great if you would join us!
it is free to show art here and we take no commission
keep an eye on website,should be there some info soon,)
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: May 13, 2008, 10:51:57 AM
says you have been watching me since Oct 26, 2004 so if that is any inclination I should be about that long as well :shrug:

--
Live --- Love --- Be --- Believe
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: May 13, 2008, 10:51:01 AM
although i now cannot find my self on your watched list... so i cant tell how long i have been watching >.> heh

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Live --- Love --- Be --- Believe
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: May 13, 2008, 10:45:06 AM
just off of stone, south of 6th right? never been there personally. It was just random to see that I am not the only tucsonian. specially someone I have been dev watching for a while.

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Live --- Love --- Be --- Believe
~wheresmytea:iconwheresmytea: May 5, 2008, 12:28:40 PM
Thanks for the +fav! :)
~OoooKATIoooO:iconOoooKATIoooO: Apr 25, 2008, 9:58:20 PM
oo,you are living here too!
I am living in alone heart of the Tucson,in downtown,Solar Culture Gallery
do you know this place?=)
*Paleuf:iconPaleuf: Dec 31, 2007, 6:24:59 AM
Thanks for the :+devwatch:!

:)

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Yo.
=shrapnelhunter:iconshrapnelhunter: Jul 25, 2007, 4:34:09 AM
Thx for the :+fav:!

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98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
=Syberwolf:iconSyberwolf: Apr 11, 2007, 10:11:33 PM
thanx for the watch^^

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~You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.~ Dr.Evil
~black-fire-311:iconblack-fire-311: Apr 3, 2007, 5:37:12 PM
so i swore the razor that never enchained would you dark nails of faith be pushed through my veins again...

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I am obessed with D- Grey Man ....everyone read it////
~SaTaNiA:iconSaTaNiA: Feb 18, 2007, 1:41:32 PM Mood: Joy
Thanks for your :+fav: on Inca Sun
i'm glad you like it !!

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Member of :
*Apophysis *Ultra-Fractal ~DeviousFractals :!:
*OceanLord:iconOceanLord: Oct 26, 2006, 2:10:28 AM
Thank you for the fav and watch :)

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:fuzzydemon: Abyssus abyssum invocat :fuzzydemon:
PHOTOSHOP TUTORIAL : [link]
*Zueuk:iconZueuk: Sep 17, 2006, 1:09:53 AM
:wave:
thanks for the :+fav:!

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:pc: devious Apophysis developer :crash:

Apophysis :paranoid: DeviousFractals
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: Jul 19, 2006, 8:51:17 AM
Thank you I am in the middle of working on many new ones so I go as far to say check back here everynow and then to see what my computer has allowed me to create

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Live --- Love --- Be --- Believe
=Lizzys:iconLizzys: Jul 15, 2006, 3:17:13 PM
Thank you so much for the :+fav: on Galactic Integrity!
You have some lovely fractals in your gallery :)
:hug:

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=Space-Club is the breath of art.
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: Jun 12, 2006, 8:25:49 PM
and you do too

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And slowly, one by one, my nightmares continue coming true.....
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You need not appoligise for something that is not within your power to alter.
~deliriously-dying:icondeliriously-dying: Jun 12, 2006, 6:04:24 PM
you LIKE it!!!!

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under the water,
you left me drowning.
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: Jun 12, 2006, 5:32:53 AM
Weirdo

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And slowly, one by one, my nightmares continue coming true.....
--------
You need not appoligise for something that is not within your power to alter.
~deliriously-dying:icondeliriously-dying: Jun 11, 2006, 11:20:19 AM
love you! :XD:

--
under the water,
you left me drowning.
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: Jun 11, 2006, 9:58:40 AM
WTF?

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And slowly, one by one, my nightmares continue coming true.....
--------
You need not appoligise for something that is not within your power to alter.
~deliriously-dying:icondeliriously-dying: Jun 10, 2006, 12:54:39 PM
BABY EATER!!!! :shakefist:

--
under the water,
you left me drowning.
=Feyd-Shadowen:iconFeyd-Shadowen: Jun 4, 2006, 9:05:50 AM
No prob! your work is awesome keep it up!

--
And slowly, one by one, my nightmares continue coming true.....
--------
You need not appoligise for something that is not within your power to alter.